Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A 10 Year Anniversary, Time Flies When Your Having Fun?


nothing dramatic

basically numb like days before

this day; came, and went

though I seemed to have missed it’s passing

this waiting for words

she packed a few things

gradually more disappeared

there never really was a day

when everything was finally gone

for I’m still here,

at least somewhat

the product of

this slow erosion

the disappearing of days

where time doesn’t heal

time, only yields a slow digression

a stripped down affiliation

marked only by the absences,

no harsh words

time leaves no yelling

just a mute leaving

the consequence of

an accumulation of indifference

leaving each

just wanting to ease

no one giving pause

the days passed too swiftly

for some things take time

even to decay

until nothing is left to say

not even good-bye

I like the poem above and think it is one of my better ones. I tried to capture my view of the slow death of my marriage to Kathy. Several people have said they can identify with poem and it's depiction of the collapse of a relationship. I got divorced 10 years ago today. I did it like most everything I do. I was my own lawyer and Kathy's too, I guess. I did all the legal forms for the divorce. At the court date, I was called up to the stand as the plaintiff, though not sure why I was put on the stand. We were doing a very simple divorce, basically stating that we were married, had lived apart for a year, and had settled all property matters. The judge looked through our legal papers and asked me several nonsense questions.

"Do you live on Twin Oaks?"


"How far down Twin Oaks?"

"Down past Shelton Vineyards, about 6/10 of a mile off 268."

"That's a pretty area. Did you grow up there? On a farm?"


"Are you Willie's boy?"


"You and Mrs. Bryant don't live together?"


"Your documents look good, take them across the road and register them with the clerk's office."

It went something like that, simple and neat. Except that I tend to grin or laugh in awkward situations, such as on the stand in a courtroom. Kathy was sitting at the defendants table, crying and crying. So you have me grinning and laughing while my soon to be ex-wife is crying. I'm sure I looked a bit like a jerk. As we walked across the road, I asked Kathy why she was crying. She said she didn't know, it just seemed kind of final. I think I said that is kind of what divorce is. Thing is she was the one who really wanted out of the marriage, I didn't. Anyway I found the situation comical, Kathy did as well. We are still friends and talk regularly.

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