good-bye
nothing dramatic
basically numb like days before
this day; came, and went
though I seemed to have missed it’s passing
this waiting for words
she packed a few things
gradually more disappeared
there never really was a day
when everything was finally gone
for I’m still here,
at least somewhat
the product of
this slow erosion
the disappearing of days
where time doesn’t heal
time, only yields a slow digression
a stripped down affiliation
marked only by the absences,
no harsh words
time leaves no yelling
just a mute leaving
the consequence of
an accumulation of indifference
leaving each
just wanting to ease
no one giving pause
the days passed too swiftly
for some things take time
even to decay
until nothing is left to say
not even good-bye
I like the poem above and think it is one of my better ones. I tried to capture my view of the slow death of my marriage to Kathy. Several people have said they can identify with poem and it's depiction of the collapse of a relationship. I got divorced 10 years ago today. I did it like most everything I do. I was my own lawyer and Kathy's too, I guess. I did all the legal forms for the divorce. At the court date, I was called up to the stand as the plaintiff, though not sure why I was put on the stand. We were doing a very simple divorce, basically stating that we were married, had lived apart for a year, and had settled all property matters. The judge looked through our legal papers and asked me several nonsense questions.
"Do you live on Twin Oaks?"
"Yes"
"How far down Twin Oaks?"
"Down past Shelton Vineyards, about 6/10 of a mile off 268."
"That's a pretty area. Did you grow up there? On a farm?"
"Yes"
"Are you Willie's boy?"
"Yeap"
"You and Mrs. Bryant don't live together?"
"No"
"Your documents look good, take them across the road and register them with the clerk's office."
It went something like that, simple and neat. Except that I tend to grin or laugh in awkward situations, such as on the stand in a courtroom. Kathy was sitting at the defendants table, crying and crying. So you have me grinning and laughing while my soon to be ex-wife is crying. I'm sure I looked a bit like a jerk. As we walked across the road, I asked Kathy why she was crying. She said she didn't know, it just seemed kind of final. I think I said that is kind of what divorce is. Thing is she was the one who really wanted out of the marriage, I didn't. Anyway I found the situation comical, Kathy did as well. We are still friends and talk regularly.
good stuff Jason.
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