Fireflies, Lightning, and Water Towers

Dancing with Fire Flys

went walking nude tonight

an inadequacy of enough drink

watching fire flys in the night

this provocation to reflect and think

life is complex and confused

it’s good i got a clear head.

you know, i sure wish my ass glowed

I have a group of poems that I call 7 Lines of Foolishness, maybe that's what I should call my blog sometimes. Anyway, guess what, this is one of those poems. I have thought of the poem several times over past month as summer and fireflies have returned. I say the last line to Alison periodically and to myself or God often. Depending on your perspective, it's either a good thing or bad thing that God does not answer this prayer. Some of you must admit it would be pretty cool though. I would be the King of mooning. One other firefly story from a couple of years ago. I was on a night run up and back on Twin Oaks road, when I pass through a drove of fireflies. I had never seen that many fireflies at one time in one place before, nor have I since. There literally had to be tens of thousands fireflies. It was a truly remarkable sight. Just another reason to do things differently from most people, such as running at night.

Which speaking of doing different things. I climbed a water tower again this week. Someone asked if I wanted to join them and I couldn't resist. I had been thinking of climbing one somewhere again as it had been quite a few years since I had done that. The conditions might not have been best, or could have been considered perfect, as there were thunderstorms in the area. As we met for our middle of the night excursion, we quickly decided lightning was a minor and worthwhile risk. We got some popsicles and headed for the tower. No better place to eat popsicles. This was first time I had ever climbed with someone. As he said, you need to choose the right person for such an activity or you're better off alone. Viewing the distant lightning from the high vantage point was quite a show. I plan to still sneak skyward periodically when I'm 80 or 90. There is just something exciting about being so high above everything around and being unrestrained. I don't think it is for everyone. But as my friend and I discussed, we enjoy the sensation of our hearts pounding and gripping things more tightly than normal. Furthermore, maybe I get a different view of my world from this rarely seen viewpoint, literally and metaphorically. It's good to survey our surroundings from an unique perspective sometimes.

Maybe someday my ass will begin to flicker in the night. I'll keep asking.

The Highs and Lows of the Past Month or So of Running

In typing up my running milage from the past several weeks, it was fairly frustrating to look back at my messed up training. My training log, which is a Curious George calendar and has been for quite a number of years, had as much info on what hurt as what I had been doing running. But it was also good to see all the notes of "good run", "fun run". Those were all runs that I had done with friends. Almost every time that we run together, Cory says that it is almost like not running. I have to agree. I did a 3 hour and 45 minute run with Mark Lundblad at the end of May. It felt more like an hour. My back felt good that day, or maybe I was enjoying Mark's company too much to notice the back. Then Mt. Washington was a disaster, but a fun weekend. I ran with a friend, Shiloh, on Friday before the race and warming up before the race. Then we lamented our poor performances after the race. Shiloh is a fun guy to hang out and run with. Alison and I stayed with a couple in their 70s, Richard and Joann Fedion. They are a blast. I could write a whole blog on them, but I don't think it would do justice unless you know them. Also at Mt. Washington, I got to visit and talk with several other running friends. Several of us went to dinner together that evening after the race. The mountain running scene is a great group of people. An added bonus is that Jacqueline Gareau, Boston Marathon winner 1980, was assigned to ride down with us. Alison and I ended up hanging out with her on Friday evening, then Saturday before and after the race. Maybe I could say we're friends with Jacqueline Gareau. The people and friends I interact with around running are a big high, so much so that the lows don't seem as bad. I admire the CMS crowd as I read Dave Dunham's blog and blogs of some other CMS guys. Sounds like they have a lot of fun.

Anyway, on with a quick recap of my actual running and racing. At Rock2Rock, my back and right glute were feeling better. I climbed well as I hit the top very close to last years split, but I didn't have the legs to descend. But third was still helpful for my Mountain Cup standings. By RothRock Challenge I was feeling a good bit better physically. Michael Selig was there and I knew that I basically had to beat him to have any hopes of top 3 in the Mountain Cup. The course was tougher than I expected, which I didn't mind. The first climb came early and was steep. I was close to Matt Byrne on most of the climb, but had decided to take it a little easier early in the race. So he pulled away a little at the top of the climb. I expected the race to take close to 3 hours and I wanted to be running well in the last hour, not just the first. Reaching the first descent I knew this should be a good course for me. It was steep and overly technical, super rocky. I closed on Matt on this descent. Then there were several rolling miles, some technical, some very runnable. So not being a guy with speed, Selig caught me. We went back and forth for several miles, me pulling away on the climbs, Selig overtaking me on the descents. The 3 miles leading up to the aid at 12.8 were gentle rolling and very runnable. Selig went by early and I thought of trying to hang on to him. That thought was brief as I knew I'd be straining to match his speed. I thought, "Just be Jason and run your own race. That will be sufficient or it won't, but that's how you'll run best." I knew Selig was building a significant lead. During this part, I was really thinking that my Mountain Cup year was over. I thought of just running in, obviously I was struggling mentally. I prayed some as normal and the thought hit me that just running in was not very glorifying. I had to give my best and let the results be whatever they were.

The final descent into the aid at 12.8 was crazy, kind of scooting down on you butt stuff. The climb out from there was crazier. It was just a long boulder climb. I was told that I was 1.30 behind Selig and 3.00 back of Matt and the other guy. I could hardly imagine that I was making time on anyone here, but I kept telling myself that I good at this stuff. Sure enough I made up like 1.15 on Selig in about 1 1/2 miles. The next 1 1/2 miles Selig pulled away a little again down to the last aid station. From there it was a 5K to the finish with about a 9% 1 mile climb, then a mostly down and runnable 2 miles. I didn't think my chances of beating Selig were good with the down finish. I was climbing quite well and caught him near the top of the climb. As soon as I passed him, I looked up to see Matt Byrne. I went by and kept the hammer down on the final part of the climb. Then I knew the last 2 miles were not my thing, but more my thing after a couple hours harsh climbs and descents. I just kept scream inside to run crazy, reckless. Surprisingly, I held onto second and kept my Mountain Cup chances alive. I did that last ~5K in just over 19 minutes. I ran straight thru the finish, out a pier, and into the lake. I had been thinking about the lake since the middle of the race. I left RothRock feeling good about where I was at.

Now for the lows. My body didn't seem to leave RothRock in as good a condition as my mind. The next two weeks didn't go so well. My back was getting progressively achier. By Mt. Washington I was quite unsure what to expect, but got myself believing in the possiblity of a good race on the drive up. You have to believe. I didn't start as well as I'd have liked, but kept believing until just past mile 2. I felt the right side of my low back tremble, that is never good. I had slowed 1 minute in mile 3 off what I'd have expected. My back just got tighter and I got slower. It was downright laughable by mile 5. It was the 50th Mt. Washington and I wanted to finish. Glorifying to God? I don't know, but maybe. It was all my body had that day. Maybe I need to clearly see my frailty some days. I can live with it. I did run from the bottom to the top. So a running high or low?

The back is still exerting its control on my running. When it's okay, I can run good workouts. Some better than last year at this time or ever, some tempo I've done since 1989. When it's really unhappy, I just take the day off. I'm fit, just not so healthy. I'm seeing two chiroprators, one is Ryan Woods the Mountain Cup leader at this point. I've got a massage or two, plus some self massage. Icing. Bought a sleep number mattress. It'll come around at some point. So that's my running story and I'm sticking to it.

Training: May 23 - July 3

Week of May 23

Total mileage: 64 1/2
Races: Rock2Rock 10K 3rd 47.18

Sun - Hike La Luz trail in Sandia Mountain east of Albuquerque

Mon - Lunch 2m @~8.00 Total - 2

Tue - Evening 8m @~8.00 Total - 8

Wed - Morning 8m Beech Mtn. ~9% - 3m in 24.10; Evening 4m @~8.00 Total - 12

Thu - Evening 6m @7.35 Total - 3

Fri - Evening 10 1/2m Rock2Rock 10K 47.18 Total - 10 1/2

Sat - Morning 26m @~8.39 Bent Creek Trails with Mark Lundblad Total - 26

Week of May 30

Total mileage: 62
Races: RothRock Challenge 30K 2nd 2:51.33

Sun - Lunch 6 1/2m @~8.30 Total - 6 1/2

Mon - Lunch 12 1/2m @~8.30 Total - 12 1/2

Tue - Evening 6 1/2m @~8.00 Total - 6 1/2

Wed - Evening 2m @7.37 Total - 2

Thu - Morning 9m Pilot Mtn. workout 5 x 1/2m & 1 x 1/4m going up mtn.

(1/2-3.12, 1-3.32, 1 1/2-3.45, 2-3.38, 2 1/4-1.48); Evening 5 @7.45 Total - 14

Fri - Off

Sat - Morning 20 1/2m @~8.39 RothRock Challenge 30K(18.9m) 2:51.33 Total - 20 1/2

Week of June 6

Total mileage: Run 50; Bike 20
Races: None

Sun - Morning 5m @~9.00 Total - 5

Mon - Morning Bike 20m @17.2 mph; Evening Aqua jog 45.00

Tue - Evening 7m @~8.09 Total - 7

Wed - Evening 5m @~9.00 at Continental Divide race course Total - 5

Thu - Morning 4m @~8.30; Evening 7m @9.45 at Continental Divide race course Total - 11

Fri - Morning 4 1/2 @8.12 with strides; Evening 8 1/2m @8.05 Total - 13

Sat - Morning 4m @7.59; Evening 5m @7.55 Total - 9

Week of June 13

Total mileage: 27
Races: None? Or Mt. Washington 59th 1:16.28 - Whew, that smells!

Sun - Morning 8 1/2 Pilot Mtn. 2.25 17.52(Not so good.) Total - 8 1/2

Mon - Off

Tue - Evening 5m - Tempo 10 minute(slow) Total - 5

Wed - Off

Thu - Off

Fri - Lunch 4m @~8.00 with Shiloh in NH

Sat - Morning 9 1/2m Mt. Washington 1:16.28 Total - 9 1/2

Week of June 20

Total mileage: Run 16; Bike 114
Races: None

Sun - Off

Mon - Evening Bike 19m @20.1 mph

Tue - Evening 8m - 20 minute tempo(Dobson) @5.44 avg.

Wed - Lunch Bike 16m @20.3 mph; Evening Bike 22m @20.3 mph Total - Bike 38

Thu - Evening 8m @~8.00 with 6 x 10sec. uphill sprints

Fri - Lunch Bike 16m @20.7 mph; Evening Bike 25m @21.1 mph Total - Bike 41

Sat - Lunch Bike 16m @20.7 mph

Week of June 27

Total mileage: Run 23; Bike 61.5
Races: None

Sun - Off

Mon - Lunch 5m @~8.00; Evening Bike 25 @ 20.8mph

Tue - Evening 7 1/2m - 20 minute tempo(Cody Tr.) @5.47 avg.

Wed - Off - Massage at Balanced Body

Thu - Evening 5 1/2 @~8.30

Fri - Evening Bike 25m @20.4 mph

Sat - Lunch Bike 11.5 @~19 mph; Afternoon 5m @~8.00 with Cory

An Odd Running Talent, An Odd Basis for Faith

Alison and I are driving up to Mt. Washington Road Race. Mt. Washington is my type of running. After 200 yards the rest is all up, 7.5 miles at 11.5%. Alison and some close friends are probably the only people who really understand the oddity of my mountain running. I started running the first week of December 1988 in high school. I got serious fairly quickly and won the small school NC Cross Country State Meet the following November, running 16.37. That is still my 5K personal best. I struggled with plantar fascitis for the next 10 years. After my quick cross country success, I felt there was a good runner lying dormant inside throughout those years. I ran, but never more than 25-30 miles a week. I finally got the fascitis resolved and returned to training seriously for about the last 10 years. Through my early 30s I basically just proved I was not as talented as I believed I myself to be. Yet, I remained delusional, I could be good if I could just find what was limiting me. I did run 16.46 for 5K this past fall, so maybe I'll improve my PR someday, but I doubt I'll ever break 16. My half-marathon personal best is 1:18.10, marathon is 2:43.42. Times that say I'm okay, not nothing great.



Then I discovered running uphill. In my early 30s, I ran Pilot Mountain at home periodically just for fun. I knew my times up it were relatively good, but I was only running a bit faster than 8 minute pace. I didn't know that was good for ~10% grade. Then I met Alison and we started running together. She wanted to know why I was running the hills so hard. My response: I am taking a break on the hills, running easy. I did a local NC hillclimb at 4% and did rather well. I was racing with guys I was never close to in regular road races. Looking on the internet, Mt. Washington looked seriously steep, plus it was the Mountain National Championship. The logical step, right. So June 17, 2006 I woke up a decent local road runner. Then I ran Mt. Washington and I was a mountain runner. At Mt. Washington, and other uphill races, I can race with much more broadly talented runners than me, i.e. generally faster. For example, that first Mt. Washington I was racing with a former US Mountain team member who had 14.20s 5K on his resume. I had discovered my running talent, an odd talent, but I'll acknowledge a natural running talent. I hadn't really done anything to develop my uphill running talent. It was just laying there undiscovered. Looking back, it was there from the start as I had always hammered people on the hills. Good for cross country.



Why I run up mountains so well is hard to put a finger on. My best guess is that I have some biomechanical difference that can't be obviously seen. When I discovered this talent, I couldn't help but think what if? What if I had the same natural ability of some that guys I race and my uphill ability? I'd be seriously good. Maybe. I would now say that is foolish talk and worthless. I'll take the talent that I have, develop it, and make the most of it. What ifs are dead end roads. Since there are a limited number of uphill races and many off road. I discovered that was good as well. The rougher, more technical the terrain is, the better I do. Longer races, ultra races are better for me. Repeated climbs in races are good. The bounds of my running talent seems to have expanded, maybe. My running talent: Not slowing down. I just seem to not slow at the same rate whenever there is something that causes running pace to be lost. An odd talent. It is still most dramatic climbing mountains.



So how does this relate to my faith in God? My faith in God has been a struggle since high school. I tend to believe what I see. I like being able understand things, prove the basis of things. God does not lend himself too well to that. God is a something you can't quite put your finger on. There is no proving God exists, just seeing the evidence of God. (There is also no proving God does not exist, or any other possible origins of life.) Running has always been a somewhat personal connection to God for me. But my uphill running talent made God make more sense to me. I believed there was a running talent inside me even in the years it would have been impossible to prove. Even after discovering my talent, it is hard to define or explain. I am still nothing especially fast for anything flat and easy. (Side note: Sometimes I wish my talent wasn't doing hard stuff. It means I get to hurt/suffer a lot. But "ifs" are still dead end roads.) If I could believe in my running ability, I can believe in God. My running experiences has made a passage from Hebrews 12, thus faith in God, make more sense for me. "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Faith or belief is often required to take the steps to see the evidence of something.

So Mt. Washington stands before me again tomorrow. To be honest, I'm a bit unsure of how it'll go. I like to predict my time at races. A little hard this time, since the last two months training has been all over the place. I finally settled on 1:05.30. Two months ago, I would have said a good bit faster. Two days ago, I would have hoped at least sub 1:10. Whatever it is, I'll run hard. In fact, I pray often that I glorify God with my running. Not sure what that exactly means, actually. I don't pray that just for races. I say that prayer on workout days that no one sees, long runs, slow easy runs in the woods. I hope my running is a thing of beauty. To be honest, when I picture myself running, it is to me. I had a thought yesterday that I want to place well for myself. I think that's okay, but I still come back to back to glorifying God regardless of place. I'll just plan on making the most of the opportunity to turn uphill once more.

Training: Weeks of May 9 and May 16, 2010

Week of May 9

Total mileage: 51
Races: none

Sun - Evening 7m up and down Fisher's Peak   Total - 7

Mon - Lunch 4m @~8.45;  Evening 6m @7.34   Total - 10

Tue - Evening 5m up and down Fisher's Peak(turned ankle again)   Total - 5

Wed - Morning 3m @~8.30; Evening 7m @6.51   Total - 10

Thu - Morning 2 1/2 @8.00; Evening 5m @7.31   Total -  7 1/2  

Fri - Morning 11 1/2 up and down mountains in Devotion   Total - 11 1/2

Sat - Off

Week of May 16

Total mileage: 37
Races: Jemez Trail Half-Marathon  5th  1:44.00

Sun - Morning 4 1/2 with work   Total - 4 1/2

Mon - Off

Tue - Evening 6m - 3m Tempo Run Avg. 5.51   Total - 6

Wed - Lunch 2 1/2m   Total - 2 1/2

Thu - Morning 3m at Bluff Mountain   Total - 3

Fri - Morning 4m @~8.00 in the Sandia foothills by Albuquerque   Total - 4

Sat - Morning 17m - Jemez Half-Marathon  5th  1:44.00

What to say?  There is still a knife in my ass that hurts on really every run.  The best thing about Jemez was finding that my glute is not working.  Again I believe that is from my back.  Ryan Woods, the winner at Jemez, is a chiropractor and he looked at me after the race.  He found that my SI joint was jammed/stuck, which I knew.  He got that freed up some which felt good.  Ryan did some muscle test and found my right glute was blown out, not working at all.  It was good to finally have a pinpoint on the current problem.  I saw him in Boone, NC on Tuesday so hopefully I'm headed in the right direction.  I think the glute issue is a nerve issue, I could be wrong.  But on Tuesday, Ryan said all the other muscles in the area, including hip flexors were strong.  Plus when I do the exercises he gave me, it is often hard to do the first couple of repeats.  The last few are the easiest.  At least I know something to do that feels productive.  It is good to know something other than, "I can't make my legs go."  That made me sound like a mental case.  I may be a mental case, but not in that way.

Life is Good, Even if Running is a Mess

If you read my training blog, you noticed my running is a mess.  Persistent back problems continue to nag me.  My right leg seems to be rotting off.  List of right leg problems, pirformis, popliteus, hamstring, ankle, calve.  And life is pretty good.  Last Sunday, I felt okay.  Some things were hurting, but nothing too bad that day.  So with all the screwed up training and hurting, I thought what should I do, POLE VAULT.  I used to pole vault some, but rarely ever do any now.  I was coaching a practice with some kids Sunday and thought I'd have some fun.  It was fun to launch one's self wildly upside down into the sky.  What's the point if being alive, if you're not alive.

Coaching has been a lot of fun this spring.  I am a distance runner who coaches the pole vault?  Yea.  I have a mostly untalented, freshman girl who has been a true joy to coach.  She has done basically everything I've asked her to do.  She may not have the talent of many other high school girls, but she kills most's work ethic.  She also vaults much more correctly than most, which is required to be competitive if you're lacking talent.  She finished 3rd at our regional yesterday, so gets to go the our State Meet next Saturday.

This past Monday was pretty cool as well.  I got a call from a former high school runner around lunch.  They had a situation that they wanted my advice on.  They said as they were trying to decide what to do, they thought I would be the perfect person to ask for input.  That was cool and rewarding.  Then at practice my girl did about three drills.  She was tired from her workout and distracted, so we sat on the pits and talk for about an hour.  It was just some typical, high school, mean girl stupidity.  She just needed some reassurance on what and who is really important.  High school can be a tough place to learn to just be yourself.  It was a great practice.  I enjoy working with the high schoolers on a level beyond just how to run, throw, jump, or pole vault.  I see that as a true privilege.  I hope athletics is just a tool to enjoy life and learn lessons about yourself and life.

Alison threw out another funny comment recently.  We had a couple over and later I commented how she looked nice in the shirt she was wearing.  Her reply, "Thanks, it's one that I got out of the trash."  She got it from the dumpster when she was at UNC in Chapel Hill.  Someone had thrown out a whole bag of clothes that were just Alison's size.  I think she misses that dumpster and sorting through other people's trash.  It was better than a thrift store since it was free.  The end of each school year was always best as college students will throw anything way.  I was reminded of couple of years ago when she brought me a piece of cake home from her work.  She had pulled it from the trash can there as someone had tossed it at the end of the day.  Yep, I ate it.  We're a great couple aren't we?

I'll leave you with one of my favorite Alisonisms.  She said it a couple of years ago while were we talking about life.  In general, we feel we've lived good one.  She commented that she seems to always get whatever she wants.  Then she worded it perfectly.

"If you are always happy with what you get, you always get what you want."

Training: Weeks of April 18, April 25, and May 2, 2010

Week of April 18

Total mileage: 50 1/2
Races: none

Sun - Lunch 9m @7.30   Total - 9

Mon - Evening 11 1/2m at FRP trails - 5 x 5 min./2 min. Fartlek   Total - 11 1/2

Tue - Evening 12m @7.55 with strides   Total - 12

Wed - Morning 11m @~8.00 at Tanglewood Park; Evening 1m - Right popliteus hurt   Total - 12

Thu - Lunch 3m - Sprained ankle running down Pilot Mtn.  Total - 3

Fri - Off  Ankle is sore.

Sat - Evening 3m @7.53   Ankle okay, but weak  Total - 3

Week of April 25

Total mileage: 30
Races: Owl's Roost Trail Half-Marathon  3rd  1:25.

Sun - Morning 17m - Owl's Roost Trail Half-Marathon - 2m warmup and cooldown   Total - 17

Mon - Off

Tue - Off

Wed - Morning 3m at Kerr Scott Dam trails - Turned right ankle again, laid on ground 

            and howled, limped out of woods.   Total - 12

Thu - Afternoon  Bike 8m @18.9 mph  

Fri - Lunch 5m with work up and down mountains   Total - 5

Sat - Lunch 5m with work up and down mountains   Total - 5

Week of May 2

Total mileage: 44 1/2
Races: none

Sun - Morning 14+m at Stone Mtn. working plus some really tough hiking   Total - 14

Mon - Evening  Bike 10m @20.1 mph   Total - Bike 10

Tue - Morning 1m;  Evening  Bike 16m @20.1 mph   Total - Run 1, Bike 16

Wed - Lunch 8m with work, more big climbs and descents   Total - 8

Thu - Morning 10m at Basin Creek trails - 5 x 5 min. Fartlek with small backpack 

          while working   Total - 10

Fri - Lunch 11 1/2m with work at Buffalo Cove, more harsh climbs

Sat - Off

Just as you can see, my running has been a mess lately.  Oh well.  My training log is filled with more notes on injuries and aches than running notes.  My back has been quite bothersome of late and has been screwing up my right leg.  Maybe that's why I turned my right ankle.  Or maybe if you run technical, rocky trails enough, sprained ankles will happen.  Regardless, my right leg and low back are hurting often.  I keep saying the pain in my right leg is not real.  It appears and disappears, day to day.  I think the back is the problem, but then again I am not a doctor.  But like many runners, I like to think I'm as qualified as a doctor to diagnose myself.  Real pain or not, the hurting is getting old, so I have not been forcing the running.

My gypsy moth trapping job has kept me running.  I have taken on a huge load of working with that this year and am working 7 days a week most weeks.  I am working some new areas and it has been tougher than I had estimated it would be.  I have done a lot of running, bushwhacking, and hiking in some tough mountains.  I do see some beautiful places and places few people go.  I found about a 60 foot waterfall on the side of mountain with no trails anywhere near it.  I've done some nice runs on some great trails.  I've done some runs just straight through the woods, no trails.  I've taken 10-15 minutes to climb/bushwhack/hike 1/4 mile.  The folks I spoke with about going on the property doubted I could make it up the mountain.  They were impressed how quickly I made it in and out.  Some climbs/descents have been 40% grades or more.  I ran straight off the side of a mountain forest last Sunday.  I would guess it was 1/4 mile at ~20%, no trail but strangely wide open and clear.  That was fun.  It made me think of fell running in England.  I have been burning my legs up on all the harsh climbs and descent.   So hopefully work is helping keep me fit.  I try to get permission before roaming off onto someone's  property and have gotten lots of warnings of snakes, bear, coyotes, terrain, and gun carrying landowners.  I often can't locate the property owner, thus I say I am part professional trespasser.  Work my be tough, but at least it's interesting.  Hopefully running will get back to normal sometime.